I've been so busy with work lately that I am starting to feel lazy about other aspects of my life. The worst of the impact has landed on my social life, which is nonexistent at this point. I'm a terrible friend, because I keep making a mental note to keep in touch and then I don't... mainly because I'm exhausted from work. I'm overworked, that's nothing new, since I am a workaholic... but never have I ever been as tired at the end of a day as I am now and the last thing on my mind at night is e-mail or phone calls. I just want to collapse... some nights it takes all I have to eat before I just vegetate or go to bed.
I feel like I can't move forward in my life right now, and it's got me in a terrible rut.
So, I'm trying to keep motivated somehow... I know that nothing in life just drops in my lap and that anything worth having has to come from hard work. I work extremely hard, so, I'm hoping this will pay off someday. I look forward to that day. That's something to motivate me, I guess. It's hard, though, when all that's interesting in your life anymore is work... in fact, it's sad. The new home is coming along nicely, and that's something that takes my mind off of the other crap. My apprehension with finances keep nagging me though, but I can shake that off with the fact that if we couldn't afford this house, NVR wouldn't have approved our loan. The work thing is a motivator as well... because I hate my current situation enough that I'm trying to create opportunities for myself; and, while it isn't paying off right now, I know it's going to in the future, somehow.
I just have to keep going... life will again be enjoyable for me someday.
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2 comments:
"just keep swimming, just keep swimming"
I feel ya, though, about trying to stay optimistic and motivated. Just when it *seems* like things are starting to go in the right direction, you hit that huge ass pothole in life and then you're stuck.
Have you been reading the happenings about my current life? I feel fucked half the time and it's getting harder and harder to NOT GIVE UP on everything.
Don't worry man - things will get better. Before you know it, you'll be up in "the country" in your brand new house. How many people do we know that are first time owners of a home??? I don't know any.
And as one of those friends that misses talking to you and seeing you, I understand that family comes first, and you two have a lot going on right now. So just keep at it, and respond to my emails! You'll be fine!
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